Forging a Warrior's Heart

In Japan, a warrior’s blade, the katana, is created through an elaborate and tedious process.  From the start, with just the right combination of ore, the ingredients are fused, heated and folded over and over until a blade, honed to take a life, if necessary, is created.  The end result is truly a thing of beauty in its strength and resistance to any obstacle it faces in its life.  Such is the journey of the warrior’s heart and the development of strength of mind, body, and spirit.   

Watching a sword master forge a blade can give the appearance of a truly violent act.  He works in a fiery place, enduring hours of physical discomfort, while singularly focused on his vision.  Within his mind, his heart and his spirit is the here and now.  Each strike, each temperance, each inspection is but a moment in time.  Everything he had done has prepared the blade for this moment.  Everything he is doing sets the path ahead.  So it is true with life.  This moment, this very moment, is the direct result of what has happened.  This moment, this very moment, sets the path ahead.  When life challenges you, when it appears that all hope has disappeared, this is the moment to strike the blade and continue on, forging the end product.  These are the moments where strength of mind, body and spirit are created, forged in the flame and heat of the present.  These are the moments where a warrior’s heart is created.

Within the beating chest are compassion, empathy and kindness.  It also is a place to keep the strength of a demon, waiting to be unleashed in the midst of a firestorm, to destroy obstacles and challenges, to resolve conflict and fear within the mind, body and spirit.  It gives us the strength to face those paths that reside outside the here and now.  The crossroads are in front of you this very moment.  One way is the fear of uncertainty, the other the excitement of new adventures.  Both lead to the same destination, because this is the path of life.  Live with the excitement of new adventures.  Live with a warrior’s heart.

Perseverance Time

I am absolutely blessed to have my wife walking beside me in the martial path.  Although she is a beginner, as we all are, she is a lifetime warrior, having battled dark forces that are way too intense for a blog.  Last night we had an interesting discussion as we were walking back from class. 

The dojo we attend is small.  Without going into details, it allows for personal attention from our sensei some nights when attendance is low.  I relish these nights.  A subtle word such as “knee”  “foot”  “good”  “lower” triggers an inner fire that satisfies my warrior heart.  Last night was no different as my wife and I were the only ones in attendance.  We staggered back down the stairs to start our mile long trek back to the house in the cold, Baltimore night; oblivious to the temperature as we basked in the warmth of the 90-minute class.

Because my wife is new to the arts, our teacher can really focus on her while I continue honing the basics-plus a few feet away.  Last night, as I was coming out of a roll, I noticed my wife cutting her eyes over my direction before going back to “drop head, replace with hand, tuck, and knees over shoulder.”  On the way home, this became the topic of conversation.

“Boy, you really give it your all while we are in class,” she stated.  “Perseverance,” I replied without thinking, which got me to thinking. We had a short conversation on the rest of our walk about the word.  I love our conversations as it makes the leg pain go away as we walk back up the hill to the house.

Perseverance.  What does it mean to you?  One of the characters that symbolize our art is the word nin or “忍” which can be translated as perseverance.  I associate with this definition more than any other translation.  We talk about surviving as the ultimate art in combat.  This is perseverance.  But, there is a hidden meaning.  It about reaching down inside, to find an inner fire to light the path ahead.  Martial training takes dedication and perseverance, something I had forgotten over the years.  One of the things I absolutely respect is how when you think you have a basic movement down, it can be tweaked slightly to add another dimension.  And so it is with life.  You have to have the perseverance, the endurance, to recognize that you will get through this moment, right here, right now. And when the next moment arrives, it too, will become this moment.  I have mastered the perseverance to handle this moment.  I am not going to worry about the next moment until it is here.  Sensei mentioned her thoughts about our training as she leaves in the upcoming month for a few weeks in Japan, honing her skills, increasing her perseverance under the watchful eye of the founder.  Her hopes are we will continue to increase our skill, to continue pushing ourselves to our limits, and then “just a little lower, please.  Okay, now five on each side.”   This is the quest.  This is the journey.  The lessons learned on the mat apply to the broad spectrum of life. 

“Okay, so this time – pause in the squat position when you come out of that back roll, before continuing into a second back roll into Seigan.”  Perseverance, the art of endurance.  It’s not just for training on the mat, but for training in the art of life.  Perseverance time. 

Goodbye Dragon, Hello Snake!

Watching the tail of the dragon disappear as the snake pokes his head into the room.  What an exciting year 2012 turned out to be.  Not only did I survive the Great Mayan Apocalypse, and I will assume YOU did also, but there were some significant life changes that occurred.  Not as many blogs as I would have liked to have written, but sometimes silence is the best answer to those raging events around us, whether it is political, religious, or constitutional rights as some choose to interpret them.  Had to let a few friends go over the year and added and met quite a few more. 

This year I celebrated 18 official years with the woman I love with my heart and soul.  Marriage is hard work; a happy marriage built on trust, understanding, and compassion is an even harder challenge.  I am grateful that I have two ears and one mouth, and know when two is greater than one.  It has been wonderful and magical to watch year 18 come and go and I am looking forward to our “official” 19^th year in 2013.

I am extremely proud of taking some “Mike time” this year to apply, interview, and acquire a promotion and subsequent move to Baltimore, Maryland as the Baltimore District, US Army Corps of Engineers Equal Employment Opportunity Specialist.  I have poured myself into this field for the last five years and extremely proud to see the immersion pay off, not just for me, but for my family.  We have officially put the south behind.  I got to explore some variations of my martial path before realizing that my karma had brought me within blocks of the Jinenkan dojo in the city.  In November, I began training there and have begun a new path of exploring what has always been my calling, the traditional aspects of the Takamatsuden arts.  It has been fulfilling to say the least.  No truer words exists than Manaka Sensei’s “Practice proper basics repeatedly and you will be able to always have natural movement.”  Of course, it will also be an absolute thrill to attend Manaka Sensei’s return to the United States for a seminar in October.

If I had to name one thing I would have done differently this year it would be paying particular attention to my physical health.  I think I spent a lot of the year rebelling, against diet, exercise, and training.  Restarting training has been challenging.  Refocusing my mind and spirit over the last month or so has helped.  

So that leads me to thinking about what I want to let go of in the coming year.  For me, personally, it is fear and apprehension.  2013 will be a big year for change at my work, as my manager is retiring and the organization will make a decision as to whether I can be placed in that position or whether they will hire someone new.  I know that no matter what occurs it will be what it will be.  I have to let go of old beliefs and behaviors instilled by past managers and supervisors, both military and civilian, who were only looking out for themselves and their careers, without developing and growing their future replacements.  My current manager has greatly assisted me in that inner development and it will be hard to see her leave; yet, joyful in knowing she will be moving into her next stage of existence.

So, where does that leave me for my vision and intention for 2013?  Of course, continuing to strengthen my marriage and put aside quality time with the one I love.  I also commit myself to training both in the dojo and at home. 

I have come to realize that I am also within blocks of the Ja Ling Tibetan Buddhist Cultural Center and will be making this a focus for the Year of the Snake.  They have a master singer and former chant master of the Sera Je Monastery which interests me greatly.  I will also continue my Shinto beliefs and explore opportunities as they present themselves.

Lots of things on the horizon; will be test driving my new 13 week training cycles that I feel I have spent a lifetime designing.  I will be focusing on “self” this year in recognition of the Year of the Water Snake.  I found some interesting advice when it comes to the Year of the Snake that really rang true to my soul.  “It is a year of risk, a time to observe, analyze and then strike quickly.  It is a great time to make sense of your life, open yourself to the universal powers that be to receive answers to longstanding problems.  Do not be put off from moving forward in a purposeful way; the Snake is both the wise Sage and the sneaky assassin; there is knowledge to be gained from both sides of its nature. Lending all its daring, boldness and outrageous nerve, the Snake likes to see people make use of these qualities and will put obstacles in your way to test them. If adversity does hit, be like the Snake, wait it out until the time is right to make your move, because the time will definitely come, but you must be focused, prepared and have your eye on the goal so that you can attack in a second.” 

I look forward to a great year of training – in body, mind, and soul.
In Kobudo,

- Mike (鬼梟)

Wading in, Guns a blazin!

I really didn’t want to wade into the current gun debate, which is always how someone who wants to wade into the current gun debate begins their conversation.  We had a tragedy that occurred in Newtown, Connecticut over the last month.  Unless you live under a rock, you are well aware of the event.  No need to rehash it here.  It has brought out the best and the worst in people, from constitutionalists (the 2^nd Amendment says I can have a gun) to those who interpret it as “a well trained militia can only have a gun” to the conspiracy crowd who keep seeing soldiers in blue helmets marching down the street kicking in doors and throwing your guns into an armored truck parked in your front yard.  As some of you may know, I don’t own a television, or to be specific, I do not have access to the 24/7 newsfeed that blindly leads our nation around the neck.  It has been a social experiment of mine since I realized I was feeding Comcast Cable about $220 a month that I could be spending on other things a little over a year ago.  So, I catch the news online, at various sources, and get a feel for what’s happening based on the people I associate with; a mix of extreme liberals, die-hard right wingers, “we’re leaving the Nation” groupies, moderates on both sides, as well as people who live in Europe, England, South Africa, Australia and Japan.  But, I digress.

I recently caught a Facebook comment thread that captured everything I feel about gun ownership.  I was raised in Texas by a father who was a Department of Corrections officer (prison guard).  He ran the rifle / pistol range for the maximum security facility, so I learned to shoot at around 6 years of age.  BB guns, .22 cal, .38 cal, .45 cal, and all kinds of rifles, to include what is being called “assault rifles” in the media.  I learned how to kick in a door at age 12 and clear four corners of a room.  I learned basic ammo reloading techniques to save money on shotgun and pistol ammo.  It, of course, led me to the Army where I continued to master my craft.  It culminated in the sands of the Middle East, in fire fights outside Fallujah, where, if it entered my sight picture, it dropped.  I don’t know how many people I have sent to the other side of life, but war is hell and I have a very strong survival instinct.    

Now, you may think my house is like that room in the movie Men In Black, the one with the secret door and a chamber filled with every firearm conceivable to mankind.  But you might be surprised to know I have zero firearms in my house.  Some of you are screaming “DON’T BROADCAST THAT, THE EVIL MEN WILL BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE!”  Well, I had two home invaders try that in 2008.  It is not about gun ownership, it is about warrior skills.  It is about honing your instinct to take a life that stops violence.  It is about intent.  I mentioned I did not have any guns in my house, but there is something in every room that deters a home invader.  Maybe it is an inconspicuous Tupperware container filled with ground five alarm chili powder ready to be thrown into the nose and eyes of an invader, allowing me and mine enough time to survive.  Maybe it is a well sharpened blade that can inflict pain (because, trust me, pain is a combat multiplier) that is available.  Maybe it is a high lumen flashlight that temporarily blinds the attacker allowing you to launch your attack.  It might be wasp spray – be amazed what that does to the eyes.  Is that a cell phone or 20,000 volts coursing through your neck?  Maybe it is me dropping to the floor sobbing in hysterics that allows you to get a little too close to me so I can throw the mental switch into the mentality of "one lives, one dies" – I will live.  Gun disarms are tricky, but can be done.  Ask two snot nosed teens in Savannah, Georgia who were zipped tied and waiting for the police to arrive when they came out of my spare bedroom and found me waiting.  So, no guns in the house.  Just a little sign in the window that says Iraq Combat Veteran.  If you can’t figure out what that means, I will be glad to give you a very short brutally, painful class.

In the meantime, if you own a gun, be responsible, just like we do in the martial arts.  Train with it - in every condition; in the dark, in the cold.  Keep it secure.  Know proper sight picture before trigger squeeze.  Have tactical and situational awareness of your surroundings.  Know that you possess the difference between life and death.  It is a great responsibility.  Please treat it as such. 

Go With Your Gut!

-- Two loud men on the public bus talking about how some women’s clothes were just “asking for rape.”  Departing the bus, I am immediately met by two guys, with guns drawn, hopping out of a car screaming obscenities and ordering passengers in another car to exit their vehicle.  Quickly turning down another alley, a crowd of seven people going to meet the car pass by, prompting another turn into a side alley.  Moments later, I pass two prostitutes complaining their skimpy clothes are not protecting them from the cold weather.  Exiting the grocery store, my original destination, I decide to turn down another alley only to be met by a truck at the far end stopping to block the passage before the large male driver exits and strides purposely towards me.  Taking an immediate right to disappear, I make my way to a public street before making it safe and secure into the house.--

A tactical scenario fit for an exercise in situational awareness, except this is another day in Baltimore. 

This is the story my wife shares with me when I get home from work.  Her concern is that she only did her best to survive and might not be up to the warrior standard.  Actually, what she did was equivalent of passing an end of semester exam in survival.  No direct engagement, constantly on the move, fast as the wind in decision making, and home safe at the end of the day.

Baltimore is ranked consistently in the top ten cities for crime in the United States.  I call it the urban jungle, a term meant to envision the dense canopy jungles of what veterans experienced in Vietnam and my experiences in the urban environments in Iraq.  You don’t know who your allies and enemies are at any given moment.  The person you pass may be the scout that signals others to attack you upon passing.  It is a common method of operation for the criminal element in this city.  A reminder from Sun Tzu remains a constant thought:

“If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him.  If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him.  Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.  If he is taking his ease, give him no rest.  If his forces are united, separate them.  If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them.  Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.”

There are many different ways to train tactical and situational awareness.  The bottom line lies in the word itself – aware.  Spend every moment observing, that is the purpose of our senses.  There is no need to take it to paranoia, just relish in the moment, every moment.  What was that sound?  Why is there an absence of sound?  Why did that vehicle pass me slowly and is now pulling fast and hard to the curb?  Is it suspicious that when the approaching individual met my eyes, he reached inside his jacket?  Why is his hand still in there after he has taken ten additional steps and he is not meeting my gaze anymore? 

It is subtle clues, visual and non-visual, the “feeling” we get, the brief tension of electricity that passes through our bodies that we should pay attention in our daily lives, the small voice that says, "Here.  Now." 

I think my wife summed it all up rather correctly, “Obey your gut feeling.  You have to protect yourself even if you have no idea what you are avoiding at first.  Just trust yourself.”

Go with your gut. 

The Art of Cowardice

I get the dreaded call at work.  My wife calls to say there has been a physical incident at the train stop.  She recalls the story to me.  She approaches the train stop where two men are seated at one end of the seats.  She is tired and takes a seat at the far end of the benches, about 30 feet away.  She becomes invisible – a term we share to just become a part of the environment, not making contact, not reacting to cat calls or comments; keeping situational awareness and monitoring the surroundings.   She said one of the men started yelling, “Hey, lady!”  She continued her invisibility.  She comments that he continued to get louder and eventually walked over and placed his hand around her upper arm.

Now, I will digress from this story for a moment.  I am a warrior.  I lead a warrior life.  I impart my knowledge to her on many occasions.  This meant that I took her into the rough part of Baltimore the very first week on an invisibility tour – making sure she knew the enemy, understood his terrain, and knew the strengths and weaknesses of those who would do her harm.  It is the warrior way in which I have been trained.  It is called intelligence gathering.  It is called surveying the battlefield to understand which strategy to apply to which tactic.  It prepares you to know that life is Banpen Fugyo, an infinite number of changes to be prepared at any moment to share the warrior skills and eliminate the element of surprise.

Now, back to our story:  The bully had taken my wife’s space.  He has decided that his life is forfeit because he does not know what he faces.  His perception of this lady ignoring him has become skewed because of his cowardice and belief that he will get his way.  He is not prepared for what comes next. 

In a flash, my wife has broken the grip and is upright, projecting her voice into his bone marrow.  That is what I teach her – show the attacker your intention – mind, body and spirit – shatter the inside of his bones with the projection of energy he has asked for when he touches you.  This is what my wife did.  She said the man, who seconds ago had grabbed her, realized that everyone at the train station was now focused on him.  He stole my wife’s space, so she let him have it.  My wife said he backed off, apologized and walked away.  She moved to higher ground, kept an eye on the enemy and went back to being invisible.

Every encounter is unique.  Most attackers are bullies, cowards at heart.  The true essence of the art of the warrior is the willingness to close with the enemy.  It is not an easy path.  It is not the art of cowardice.  It is not imposing your will upon others, unless they ask for their destruction.  I am proud of my wife.  When tested, training took over and she closed with and engaged the enemy.  Such is the life of the warrior.

Time to plant some flowers

Musha Shugyo \ 武者 修行;  
1. Warrior’s quest or pilgrimage.

    I have spent the last twelve years in the southeast, specifically the Fort Stewart and Savannah, Georgia region, a part of the United States called, “Coastal Georgia.”  This week, I pack away my swords and move to the next chapter of my journey.

     It has been quite the adventure.  I spent the first half of my time honing my skills with the 3^rd Infantry Division on numerous training missions and combat rotations in Iraq.  I faced the darkest parts of my soul and peered into the fire of my inner demons.  It would only be in the face of absolute adversity and on the verge of destruction that I would be handed an option – give it all up and grow or remain impenetrable and rot from the inside.  I gave it all up so I could grow.

     I was offered an opportunity to work for the US Army Corps of Engineers.  Hanging up my fatigues and grabbing a shirt and tie, I spent the latter half of my journey honing my counselor skills and becoming a teacher of leadership and diversity.  From the flames emerged those parts of my psyche that I would be well known for – the Disability Program Manager and veteran advocate.  It would be in this final half of my time that I would truly become strong.

     I depart coastal Georgia a better man, capable of unconditional love and compassion.  I know what is truly important in life.  My life’s motto, as always, silently whispers to me, “We need to keep exploring and learning.  Keep going!”

     I end with an observation from nature.  For years, I stood at a bus stop under the shade of a massive oak tree.  Its strong roots had buckled the concrete sidewalk around it.  Its branches stretched across two lanes of traffic to provide shade to the house across the street.  It was home to birds, squirrels and city mice.  One morning there was a sign stapled to its trunk – “Condemned.  Scheduled for removal.”  I remember feeling sadness that this majestic, decades old icon would fall.

    A few weeks later I walked up to the bus stop.  Beside the bus marker was a stump.  On closer observation the truth was revealed.  The inside of this four foot wide tree stump was hollow.  It had rotted from the inside out to where only a shell remained.  While projecting strength in all weather, the city arborist knew it was only a matter of time before it fell.  My classes on teaching perceptions to managers and employees leapt to mind – “Sometimes, things are not what they appear to be.”

     I passed that stump a few days ago.  The owners of the seafood restaurant by the bus stop had filled the hollow area with potting soil and planted flowers.  They were in full bloom, a reminder to find joy, positivity and hope in every situation.

     So, we bid farewell to Coastal Georgia.  It is time to go plant some flowers and enjoy the next part of the journey.   

Perceptions

In the early morning hours of the day, my wife comes back in the house from her trek across the street to the convenience store.   She is visibly upset.  She explains that on her way back across the street, she was approached by a man carrying a clipboard and trying to get her to sign a petition.  When she told the man to stop and she had no interest, he became visibly upset and started to yell at her and screamed she was a racist.  My beloved continued to ignore him and came home.  After explaining the situation to me, I went across the street.

Our residence lies on the edge of the million dollar mansions and the ‘rough part’ of town.  99 percent of the time it is a peaceful neighborhood.  It is the 1 percent that concerns the warrior-protector inside me.  Crossing the street, I see a man meeting the description my wife gave me.  He is around 20 years of age, dressed nicely, carrying a clipboard and is black / African-American.  I add that last part because in Savannah, Georgia the civil rights movement that occurred in the 1960s is a recent memory.  Laws have been passed that grant equality, but grandparents and parents of the youth in this town grew up and continue to live with the hatred that the color of one’s skin invoke in another human being.  I approached the young man and said, “I believe you called my wife a racist.” 

Now, let us digress and talk about perceptions.  We know what the young man looks like, but what of me?  Dressed in baggy, black sweats, funky five finger shoes with no socks, and – most importantly – body posture relaxed, hands by my side, voice lowered – sentence uttered in a neutral tone.

Over the next 10 minutes, I had a conversation with the young man.  Riding his emotions, I came to realize that he had a very rough time this morning with an ‘older black man’ at McDonalds who had yelled at him.  He had walked down the street to our intersection, where it is currently 32 degrees F, with a feel like temperature of 24 degrees, and was uncomfortable.  Anger was just below the surface when the ‘lady ignored me and didn’t want to have anything to do with me.’  His first instinct was it was because of the color of his skin.

I told him I understood.  I am an Equal Employment Opportunity Specialist for the Federal government.  I work the ‘mean streets’ of civil rights every day for a living.  I understand how it must feel, as I am a disabled veteran and can also be the focus of discrimination and how the words “crazy vet” are my generation’s racial epithet.   I told him to remember the message of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  We accomplish more through peaceful protest.  We should be using non-violence to work our message.  We have to endure, persevere, walk those long miles, and endure the ‘fire hose’ of those who would try to stop us.  Yes, even the taunts of similar situated individuals, the cold of a Savannah morning, the woman who ignores you and walks away.

It was at this point that I explained that the woman who ignored him, the love of my life, the one who is under my protection, has also endured a rough life.  Because of this, and the fact that she is married to someone who has studied the martial arts for almost 30 years, she does not speak or engage with strangers, especially ones that become confrontational.

I wished him well on his journey and luck with his petition drive.  I have fought for this right on many battlefields in far off lands.  Make a voice for yourself.  Find your passion.  As I shook his hand and parted ways, I reminded him to come to the MLK parade on Monday.  I will be riding on the Corps of Engineers float, celebrating Dr. King’s message of freedom for all, regardless of what others think when they see your outside persona.  He said he would do his best to be there.  He said, “Sir, you have given me a lot to think about and really shattered how I see the world.”

I smiled and walked back to the house, thinking of those shinobi warriors and their silent means to work their will.

Ready to live today!

The full moon of the night symbolizes the approach of the new moon in two weeks, heralding the entrance of the dragon.  With two claps before the dawn, I sprinkle the ashes of the year of the rabbit into the river, watching it take the past into the living sea and putting it behind me.  A final clap and I turn to reflect upon the last year and energize myself for the future.

2011 was an interesting year.  It saw destruction and fire.  It also saw the inevitable hope that rises from the ashes and lights the path ahead.

I lost two people in my life this year and had to say goodbye to another.  Both my uncle and stepfather passed from this life.  My stepbrother made a choice to continue his errant ways and decided to walk another path in his life.  I faced the fire of dealing with past personal issues and embraced the compassion that comes with placing the needs of others over the wants of self.  In the end, as the fire burned intensely, as the smoke threatened to choke the very life from my lungs, I emerged on the other side, stronger and ready to face the future.  Such is the warrior life. 

So, what does it all mean?  Warrior-protectors preach perseverance.  It is the driving force behind what we have to do every moment, every second, every day.  It is getting up to face whatever hardship threatens to derail our path.  It is saying “I have to” when everything inside screams “I don’t want to” so that we may lead a happier life later. 

There are a lot of things I wanted to do this last year.  But, there were a lot of things I needed to do instead.  It is about finding the balance between want and need.  It is about staying in the middle, focused on the here and now.  It is about letting go of the past, welcoming the future and living today.  Banpen Fugyo!  Stand ready to embrace whatever comes your way!   

Live your life!

Milton Ray Winebrenner, age 74, died August 7, 2011 in Houston, Texas.

Uncle Milton was the oldest of three children, the youngest being my mother.  He had been married 54 years (think about that for a minute), had no children and led a very amazing life.  As I have mentioned in the past, I lost my dad when I was 14.  Uncle Milton was the “rich uncle” who was always there during thick and thin.  I never knew what his income level was, but he lived in the big city up the street (Houston) and always had some cool gifts at Christmas.  Looking back at his life, his pictures, his memories, I tend to see how my life evolved.  

Uncle Milton was involved in management consulting, Toastmasters, and civic duty.  He was a member of the Army at one point in his life.  He loved cats (his four ‘children’ will miss him dearly).  He was always right on the cutting edge of technology (he gave me my first computer at Christmas, 1982 - all hail the Texas Instrument 99/4A!).  He always treated the family to holiday meals at the local country club before opening up his home and heart to us at the big house in Houston.  On my last trip home, we met up and pizza was the order of the day.  He was still going strong, heavily involved as the president of his neighborhood civic organization, still making a difference in this world, when he passed.  

Uncle Milton had fun in his life.  He took life seriously, but did not take life too seriously.  He will be missed.  Although he has departed, he lives on in all the people he influenced.  That includes me.  The lessons he left behind will not be forgotten.  Stay true to your community, to your family and to yourself.  Pursue your passion with perseverance, but do not forget to stop, look around, and have some fun along the way.  Stay devoted to your soul mate.  Play.  Never forget those who have less than you do.  Do not judge, but treat them with compassion. 

The world will miss you, Uncle Milton.        

The one sure event - Death

For the samurai to learn
There's only one thing,
One last thing -
To face death unflinchingly.

- Tsukahara Bokuden (1489-1571)

In this lifetime, I have been the bringer of death; I have been the enemy of death.  On the battlefields of the Middle East, I was the instrument of death, the bringer of artillery and ruthless fire upon those who opposed our advance.  It was this road that eventually led me to the path I follow today, the enemy of death.  

I now walk a path to make sure that death is held at bay until it is truly welcome.  We all take a journey through this life.  The only thing that is certain is the passing of this lifetime.  At an early age, the age of 14, I learned that death can come at any moment.  It was an early morning on Thursday, May 20, 1982, that my father passed on to the other side.  It would be many, many years later before I accepted this moment in my life.  It only became acceptance when I realized that my dad was gone, the ones alive where those he left behind. We should live, everyday in the Here and Now.

Today, the word goes out that the man who went on to marry my mother, my stepfather, has begun his journey on the other side.  The family grieves and strives to find acceptance on the passing.  He had 70 years on the earth and fathered two wonderful men.  He provided balance to my mother.  Now he has passed on, to find what lies on the other side.

I will not tell you how he died; I will tell you how he lived.  My stepbrother summarized it nicely, “Father, Brother, Uncle, Friend, Obnoxious Jerk at times, but much more often a loving, caring man...”  This is the remembrance we must embrace.  Remember the lessons of life and not the lessons of death.  Hold those precious moments in your spirit so that they may light the path ahead.

The Samurai did not fear death.  It was a natural part of life.  We exit the womb with only one thing that is a surety.

I have no parents; I make the Heavens and the Earth my parents.

I have no home; I make the Tan T'ien my home.

I have no divine power; I make honesty my Divine Power.

I have no means; I make Docility my means.

I have no magic power; I make personality my Magic Power.

I have neither life nor death; I make A Um my Life and Death.

     - 1st Refrain, Samurai Creed, 14th Century

Situational Awareness

Not a day goes by that our fair city has another crime making the headlines.  Some blame the heat, the education system, the lack of activities for young adults, the drug problem, and on and on.  No matter what is motivating those who turn to crime, the rest of us can benefit from a good sense of situational awareness. 

Many cases I read about involved women who were attacked while they were on their cell phone.  I have a real pet peeve about people who stay glued to their cell phones a majority of the time.  I will be the ‘grumpy old guy’ and tell you that ‘in my day, while we were walking two miles uphill both ways to school in the snow’ that a cell phone was used for emergency purposes.  Nowadays, it is a fashion accessory, glued to an ear while driving, walking, and, yes, even standing at a urinal doing our business (seriously).  One detriment is the loss of situational awareness.  In the cases I cited, the women (and men are just as guilty) become so wrapped up in their conversations, they lose touch with what is going on around them.  I do a lot of walking, a lot of people watching.  You can always tell the vets, the martial artists, the ones who have some training in situational awareness.  Their gaze goes to hands, to center of body movements, to a quick glance at another person’s eyes.  Their gaze is in constant movement, not noticeable to the extreme, just quick glances to all cardinal points, expanding peripheral vision to take in every minute detail, every perspective, every moment in the Here and Now.    

Situational awareness is not just about threat assessment.  It is about soaking in the environment.  Here is an example:  Walked two miles to the river for my morning run.  A period of that walk was before the sun came up through a rough part of the city.  While my ‘senses’ were expanded, I noted several individual youths just hanging out.  I also noticed the large Savannah fountain and how nice it looked lit up.  I hit the river path for my three mile run.  About 70% of that path is cobblestone.  A different type of situational awareness is needed to make sure I navigate the stones successfully.  As I make the turn onto the river, the sun is coming up over my right shoulder.  In the river a tugboat is guiding a large cargo ship out to the sea.  Porpoising in front of the ship are Georgia bottleneck dolphins.  Shop owners are sweeping the sidewalks in front of their businesses.  Other runners pass by and we share greetings.  The city slowly rises from its slumber and a new day starts.  Can you feel the happiness?  Can you feel the joy of a new day?

Use your situational awareness to remain in the Here and Now.  Be ever cautious of those who would do you harm, but don’t let the happiness and joys of a beautiful surrounding pass you by in your journeys.  Live your life!  Have situational awareness!          

Release your power!

I had the distinct pleasure of addressing the Coastal Georgia Chapter of the American Society of Military Comptrollers this last week.  I love speaking engagements.  It comes from growing up in Texas, where front porches are the place for sit and speaks on the topic of the day.  This upbringing has greatly influenced my job as a counselor and mentor to an organization of 1200 employees.  I was asked to speak in my capacity as Disability Program Manager.  I saw it as an opportunity to speak on Disability Empowerment.  The free crab cake lunch was an added bonus.

I opened with one of my favorite quotes from Doctor Howard Thurman, an influential American author, philosopher, theologian, education and civil rights leader in the twentieth century.

“Don't ask yourself what the world needs.  Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”

You see, deep down inside of us is power.  We all have it.  We all want to do a great job in this life.  We all have some type of knowledge and skill that can contribute to the world at large.  Empowerment is about letting this power out for humankind.  I shared a three part solution for managers on how their employees can let this power out, to empower their employees, and to build a better team.  You can just as easily replace “manager” with husband, wife, teacher, sensei, coach, sergeant, etc.  The plan works for every type of leadership role and capacity.

The book “Empowerment Takes More Than a Minute” presents three means that leaders can use to empower their subordinates.  These are sharing information with everyone, creating autonomy through boundaries and replacing the old hierarchy with self-managed teams.  We share information with everyone, allowing trust to be built up and involving everyone in the process by giving them a clear purpose and direction.  We create autonomy through boundaries, as needed, to ensure open lines of communication and feedback are occurring.  This leads to better self-managed teams.  These self-managed teams move the mission forward and continue the vision well into the future. 

The discussion went on to the broader vision of empowering our lives when working with those who are disabled.  The combat operations this nation has endured for the last ten years has created a large population of veterans who are returning with visible and invisible wounds.  Some of them need to let their power out, to be empowered.  Some of us need to teach them how to be empowered.  That is my path in life.  I am always on the lookout for a few fellow journeyers. 

I wrapped up my discussion by sharing a story from my time while I was attending the Disability Program Manager’s Course at the Defense Equal Opportunity Management Institute.  I was checking in and the hotel clerk asked me what course I was attending.  I told her and she relayed that she felt sorry for the “blind guy” who had reported in earlier.  I asked her what she meant and she said, “You know, getting to the dining facility, around base, etc.”

I asked her if he had developed blindness while he was checking in.

I met Joe later; he is a GS-15 Disability Program Manager for one of the Federal Agencies (the highest grade you can achieve.)  We had a chuckle over coffee at the Dining Facility (by the way, he did just fine navigating his way around) and he relayed his side of the story.

You see, Joe was given a second story room by that hotel clerk; in a building with no elevator, just stairs.  She may have wondered how Joe was going to be able to get around, but she didn’t empower him so he could be highly productive.

By the way, Joe let some of his power out and got himself a first floor room.

Let me close with a quote. “Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do just one thing well, you're needed by someone.”

Find your passion.  Share it with others so we can all be empowered!

Thoughts on the Rapture

Well, I wanted to welcome you to the other side of the Rapture.  If you are a friend of mine on Facebook, you know I had a little fun on May 21, 2011, the so-called Rapture prophesy of Harold Camping, an evangelist from Alameda, California.  If you do not know who I am referencing… well, nothing to see here, move along.  So why did a Buddhist, someone who walks a path of compassion, have such a frolic at the expense of another human being.  Well, it is because this man of God harkens me back to a childhood of “Revelation Churches.”

Let me fill you in on that one.  I was born and raised in a small town in Texas.  Every Sunday, we would travel to an unincorporated township where my grandma lived, a township whose population was about 300-400 and had six churches.  We attended the Church of Christ, one of two in this town.  Of course, ours was the “white” church, after all, this was south Texas and in the middle of the 70’s.  The township’s Church of Christ had broken into two churches during the era of desegregation in the 60’s.  We remained the ‘pure’ church.  Our Sunday attendance consisted of 8-12 worshippers.  Our sermons mostly consisted of quotes from Daniel and Revelations, because Proctor and Gamble had put bar codes on their products and the anti-Christ was in full force shaping the world.  I grew up knowing Ronald Wilson Reagan (count those letters, folks) was secretly shaping the world to his evil means.  Then, the light went out and came back on.

Thursday, 4:32am, May 20, 1982.  My father, who was the song leader for our congregation, passed away.  I was 14 years old, in the heart of my early teenage years, in the heart of susceptibility.   We attended services the next Sunday, where the man who oversaw our church told me that unless I repented and was baptized, I was going to hell.  Now, think about that for a second.  Fourteen, lost his father three days earlier, in the throws of grief, and a man of God is telling me I am going to hell.  It was here that I learned the First Noble Truth of Buddhism - Life is suffering.  Suffer I did.  Of course, I was baptized within the next few weeks.  I took on the mantle of replacing my father in the congregation, leading hymns and reading scripture each Sunday, mostly from Revelations, and looking for the apocalypse in every news story.  Luckily, I joined the Army in 1986, left my small town upbringing, was exposed to culture and diversity and my mind was able to break free of the shackles of my youth. 

Understand, this is not a bash on Christianity nor the Church of Christ, but just the narrow viewpoints of those who blindly follow visions of prophesy.  My path is compassion.  So, I feel compassion when I see fellow human beings following the same path I took as a child.  I feel compassion when I see a man tell his followers he knows the ultimate truth.  In that compassion, I must find some joy and love that is truly the end we must attain.  Over the next few days, if he has not taken his life, we will hear from Harold Camping, he will try to justify how he made a mistake.  It is the circle of life for these types.  I went through this in my early adult years when I confronted the man from my childhood church.  Hopefully, his followers will find some compassion for this man.  In the meantime, I will continue on my path in the here and now.

Know your enemy

The news rolls on.  One of our Nation’s most wanted fugitive has been killed.  Now, the media will twist the story around for the next days, weeks, months, etc until we get sick to death of it.  Some will get it right; others will spin it to justify whatever.  In the end, will it really matter?

My last job in the military involved a lot of battlefield assessments, observing the enemy to help determine a course of action, and providing lethal support to the main ground forces once we were committed to the battle.  So, a vast amount of time staying hidden and reporting what I saw all around me.  This mentality has really translated into what I do for a living now, as an advisor to the commander on management employee relations.  It could not be more relevant to the current news story of the day.

I have sat in amazement as co-worker after co-worker has approached me today and asked about my feelings on the operation overseas.  Some who know me very well have not had to ask at all.  They know my philosophy of “watching the battlefield and gathering intelligence before acting decisively.”  Yes, the ones who were given the task of executing this military operation have reason to celebrate their mission accomplishment.  Yes, I am proud of my fellow troopers who lost no one on this surgical strike.  But, it is early in the operation.  Those who oppose us will undoubtedly retaliate.  Now is not the time to throw a drunken frat party to celebrate the death of one man who lost his celebrated figure head years ago.  Watch the battlefield.  Gather intelligence.  Act decisively.  The question on my mind is, “Where is Ayman al-Zawahri?”  Don’t know who that is?  Then, you need to go back and re-read Sun Tzu.  Know your enemy.

Our Nation will celebrate.  The operators who were involved in the actual action will be de-briefed, take a day, then check the mission board to see what task is next.  It is the warrior way.  They know their enemy.  We should too.

One letter for everyday of the week

Here.  Now.  Seven letters.  Seven days of the week. 

Been a while since my last blog.  Some of my family knows the reason for my absence, those who do not just need to be aware that life in general offered me a challenge to grow or wither.  I chose to take the offer, push through the mud and murk to bloom on the other side. 

There are lessons to be learned when life hands you adversity.  You can cling to the sorrow, the pain, the suffering. You can spiral into doubt, depression, the sadness and despair.  You can find reasons to quit, throwing in the towel.  You can say, “I can never _____.”  Or you can live.  I am a firm believer that any amount of adversity can be overcome.  It takes perseverance.  It takes staying in the here and now, right here and right now.  It takes placing your sword over your heart.  It takes realizing that, “Even though an enemy has a blade over my heart, I will succeed.  I will win.” 

The root of what I teach veterans (of both wars abroad and at home) is the mantra of “Here and Now.”  As I stated, the words Here Now are seven letters, which I have assigned the following seven words to contemplate one day at a time.  They are H-Honesty, E-Endurance, R-Reality, E-Effort, N-Notice, O-Onward, and W-Worthy.  Let’s explore.

HONESTY is the key to staying grounded.  Look at why you are straying off course.  And then LOOK at why you are straying off course.  And once you open that path, REALLY look at why you are straying off the path.  In other words, somewhere buried deep down below the initial obstacle is the true reason.  Embrace that reason with honesty and integrity.

Have the ENDURANCE to face the challenge.  Endurance doesn’t mean going full out 110 percent.  It means keeping your eyes and mind aware through the challenge to find the opening.  It means staying the course waiting for the moment when you can make that one move that will stop the conflict.  It means persevering. 

Stay focused on REALITY, this reality, right here, right now.  Relax in the moment and let the present play out.  Is the event that is causing you distress really happening in reality?  Stop and look again.  Is the event that is causing you distress really happening in REALITY?  Think about that for a moment.

Understand there is no easy path.  We can’t just give it up to a higher power and continue to hurt.  It takes EFFORT.  Strength gainers don’t just look at a book on exercise and become stronger.  Runners don’t buy a Wii Fitness and expect to finish a road race.  Likewise, mental strength doesn’t come from not pushing yourself beyond your limits.  Push.  Put the effort in.

A key component in Here Now thinking is to NOTICE everything around you at all times.  This helps you stay grounded in the moment.  Sometimes there is an advantage in letting your mind and spirit wander.  This is good.  But, liken it to your annual vacation from work.  You reward yourself for a good year by taking that time off to relax.  Your moments that you wander should be that vacation, not the hard work you put in day after day.  By noticing your surroundings you develop the capability that no amount of adversity can surprise you. That doesn't mean staying hypervigilant, just stay aware, where you are, when you are, why you are.

When you deal with the present, keep in mind that it will slip into the past and you will press ONWARD.  In the few minutes that you have been reading this blog, time has slipped by.  You have moved onward from where you were.  How simple was that?  Those moments that threaten to derail your life are the same.  Push onward.  They will be the past in just a few moments.

The last aspect is to recognize that you are WORTHY of this effort.  You affect someone.  You also affect yourself.  You have some worth to someone.  Somehow you got to this blog.  You have worth to me just for stopping by, whether you comment or not.  Adversity can try to derail your worth, make you think there is no reason to carry on, but this is so untrue. 

I close with these two phrases from the martial path I follow.  Banpen Fugyo – 10,000 changes, no surprise.  A complex phrase with a simple message – persevere, even when faced with a blade above your heart. 

The second phrase is the essence of budo – Ganbatte Kudasai! – keep going! 

Endure, survive, because this is the here and now!